I will never forget the moment I got down on my knees and told God: “I cannot go another day without being creative.”
At the time I was working full-time as a pharmacist, a job I had pursued for its financial stability. But instead of feeling stable I was suffocating. As a young girl, I had pursued dancing, acting and modeling with great joy. Maybe as part of my artist’s spirit, I was deeply attuned to the presence of God all around me from a young age. I knew that any talent I possessed was from Him and I grew to feel called by Jesus to glorify him as a dancer, actress, model and designer.
So why was I hiding away behind closed doors feeling anxious and frustrated by my life instead of shining on a stage for Jesus? God had given me a vision of a future as an actress with a platform to inspire and encourage others, but in college, I chose to sacrifice that dream for what felt like the safer route. I told myself that I could always make time for my creative pursuits on the side while working in a pharmacy. I spent years trying to squeeze auditions into the confines of working full-time. I choreographed dance numbers on the weekends for my church. I scrambled to make it all fit together, but sometimes I had to give up screen parts because I couldn’t commit to the shooting schedule. Add in a marriage and a baby and soon the time for my life as an actress was co-opted by all of life’s other demands.
But life without creativity was not working for me. I was miserable and I was inflicting my misery onto everyone around me. God created me with certain gifts and talents.